the zhaf speaks

Tuesday, August 31, 2004:

discovery

oh yea baby starbiz done...
regional manager here i come!

the past few days have been immensely intense. i've truly experienced in all its excruciating glory what it feels like to have but one day left. it is taxing and exacting having to dig deep and yank out those parts of you which have lain dormant far too long. definitely an unprecedented paradigm shift of sorts and an exhilarating trip into the eye of the storm. truly, the map is NOT the territory, for we can never see the forest for the trees. cliched, but true. work will never be the same. neither will life. my mental lenses and my inner dimensions will never revert back to the inferior specifications of yesteryear.

imagine giving yourself totally and absolutely, mind body and soul, devoting yourself in entirety to the completion of a single lofty goal. barriers, fears and of course excuses... these three stooges simply hold no sway... when you bloody want it so damn much, when you believe beyond a shadow of doubt that you will trudge through the morass of tribulation and see the light...

guess courage is all there is to it. because fear is nothing more than false expectations appearing real. there will be more trials ahead, all the better, for the more one's courage is put to the test, the stronger it becomes. no two ways about it, i need to become so very much more stronger.

-unshackled and unfettered he seeks power sublime- 1:16 pm

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Tuesday, August 24, 2004:

opened

was bemused when in the space of just one day i came across 5 friends pondering life. like why live? what's the point of living? what do we as humans live for? when you chance upon more than 5 singaporeans philosophising in one day... that's something. about as significant as the renaissance. just kidding. but yea, a pandemic of socratic syndrome in sunny singapore is rather queer.

my take, screw thinking so much about it. seriously. then again careful thought, reflection and analysis are things sorely lacking in our lives today. act, do the thing, the right thing if possible. if you do the wrong thing then get it right subsequently. as long as follows thought with action one never thinks too much. so what is yours truly doing? he's doing a ton of shit ladies and gentlemen. he is working for the betterment of himself and his family. he's working towards a future where mom and dad will have the perfect retirement, where his (currently) 5 year old bro will receive funding for studies anywhere in the world, where he can finance his own education in medical school, where he can live his dreams, earn loads of cash and yes not forgetting, be in posession of the copious amounts of time necessary to fully enjoy his wealth.

9-5 doesn't cut it anymore. not for the average android anyway. but i digress.

so what do i live for? for the betterment of myself, my family and in time, mankind as well. idealistic? perhaps. far-fetched? likely. achievable? definitely.

leaving school was a humongous eye (and mind) opener. going into business was even more monumentous in its magnitude.

i'm thankful that while so many of my peers are either
i) wondering what to do with their lives
ii) know what to do but are figuring out how to do it
i know what i want to do with my life, i know how to go about it and most importantly...
i'm already working towards the end. the more i think about it, beginning without the end in mind is nothing more than the first step down the slippery slope to failure.

sec sch and jc are bullshit. attend the school of hard knocks, the university of life. it'll make you hard as nails.

what patrick wrote in weiming's farewell card keeps on zipping in and out of my head.
"always remember what you truly want in life. fucking important"
so true. so true.

-unshackled and unfettered he seeks power sublime- 12:48 pm

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Wednesday, August 18, 2004:

Freudian Inventory Results

Genital (60%) you appear to be stuck between a progressive and regressive outlook on life. Latency (33%) you appear to have an irrational view on the value of learning. Phallic (43%) you appear to have a good balance of sexual awareness and sexual composure. Anal (43%) you appear to have a good balance of self control and spontaneity. Oral (43%) you appear to have a good balance of independence and interdependence.

Take Free Freudian Inventory Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

you do stuff like this when bored

-unshackled and unfettered he seeks power sublime- 12:12 pm

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finally...

HOLY COW! MY INTERNET'S BACK!!!
all i needed to do was reinstall windows xp... wtf
praises be sung now and in the hereafter. whoopee!

-unshackled and unfettered he seeks power sublime- 11:54 am

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